Attraction

Attraction

Genre: Experimental / Art-House / Avant-garde

Original title: Nerosubianco

AKA: Black On White / The Artful Penetration of Barbara

Director: Tinto Brass

Year: 1969

A motion picture for the stoned age

This bizarre piece of pop-art surrealism is an early work of Tinto Brass, best known for two infamous films in Caligula & Salon Kitty. It stars Anita Sanders (the 10th victim) as a married women who is followed around London by a black man who she has sexual fantasies about played by Terry Carter, best known for blaxploitation pictures such as Abby & Foxy Brown. That there is pretty much the plot (& I use that term loosely) for this 80 minute attack on the senses.

Attraction is the sort of film you could project on a screen at a night club and it would create a great atmosphere with its weird trippy nonsensical nature and strange scenes which are ever changing with its fast editing. The film is absolutely loaded with subtext of the big themes of the late 60s such as sex, drugs, freedom, the hippy movement, racism & paranoia. You get an almost commentary at times from what I'd guess was the previous generation looking down on these young adults with their fresh ideals. The mere thought of a women having sex with a black men in 69 would probably of upset many people.

For a man who once famously stated "I put two balls and a big cock between the legs of the Italian cinema!" the nudity shown during this film for the most part is always shown in a very un-erotic way which came as a surprise. Tinto's own political beliefs are on show when a love making scene is stopped by a man with a prohibited sign. We are then treated to nasty & gruesome war footage of people being slaughtered & tortured. It is a clear attack on the very idea of censorship & how the joy of love making is completely inoffensive, especially when compared to the brutality that we see on the news on a daily basis. 

The soundtrack is provided by organ heavy psychedelic rock band, Freedom, who were made up of two  ex-Procol Harum. The bands sound falls somewhere between early Pink Floyd & The Small Faces with their music soundtracking a large portion of this picture. These groovy tunes really helped me stay onboard with the picture. At times it felt like I was watching a psychedelic video made for their music rather than their music soundtracking an art-house flick. The band follow Anita Sanders around London as she fantasises about the black stranger. Because of this the band perform in all kinds of locations from shop windows, on top of buses, massage houses & even in trees. 

Despite its short 80 minute running time the pictures whimsical nature and insanely fast editing means that it begins to overload the senses and the films ideals begin to drag a little. I feel something like this would of benefited from being shortened to around the hour mark to keep its ideas constantly fresh.

A film like his could easily (& maybe should) be a pretentious mess, but looking back as someone fascinated by every aspect of the 60s from its music, to its fashion & its political themes it remained engaging for the most part & visually it was a treat for the senses throughout. 

Rating: ★★★½

Ricco the Mean Machine

Ricco the Mean Machine 

Genre: Crime, Poliziottesco, Gangster Film

Original title: Ricco

AKA: Cauldron of Death / Gangland / The Dirty Mob 

Director: Tulio Demicheli

Year: 1973

After serving time in prison Ricco Aversi is released & seeking revenge on the gang that murdered his father

Ricco The Mean Machine begins with a bloody shootout which shows a man being blown away at point blank range. It soon becomes clear that this is Rico's rather that has been killed & rico is hellbent on making his fathers killers pay. The character of Rico is played by Christopher Mitchum, the son of legendary 50s actor Robert Mitchum. With his blonde fringe he has an air of casual coolness about him though he does come across as emotionless with his big droopy eyes & then there's a scene where he shows off some martial arts skills that leaves a lot to be desired. He is serviceable to a point & likable enough to get behind but I couldn't help but think the film would of been so much better with somebody such as Tomás Milián, or even Ray Lovelock as the films leading man. 

Christopher Mitchum, forever in his fathers shadow & for good reason.

We're introduced to the character of Scilla (played by Italian genre film regular Barbara Bouchet)  as she's conning people by asking if they have any change for her counterfeit bank notes that her uncle is making at home, this whilst in a skimpy outfit to help seal the deal. She soon becomes Rico's girl & also partner in crime which leads to a fantastic scene where she distracts a car which is delivering a large shipment of money by giving us a fantastic striptease in the middle of the road, Rico throws both men over a bridge as they exit the car. Whilst I don't usually admire Barbara Bouchet compared to some of the other sexbombs of Italian cinema I can't deny that she looks fantastic as a redhead here in Ricco.

The star of the film is without a doubt Arthur Kennedy as the unimaginatively named Don Veto. An experienced actor who had played a big part in Lawrence of Arabia but to fans of Cult Italia he's also the Sergeant in Let Sleeping Corpses Lie. His portrayal as the gang mob leader who is feared for his ruthlessness really gives the film its best moments. Anybody who betrays him or dares step in his way will end up tossed into a chemical pit where they'll melt do death. In one scene his right hand man is caught sleeping with the Don's girl (the beautiful Malisa Longo) & is held down whilst they remove his penis with a flick-knife before disposing him in the chemical pit. It's brutal & graphic in its horrific nature, in fact so horrific that in some places the film was released as Cauldron of Death with a poster which boasted a tag-line that read 'tender flesh, burning acid' which surely must be conned people into thinking they were about to see a horror film.

Despite any shortcomings Mitchum may have as a leading man it doesn't hurt the film too much as its so brilliantly written with strong characters, memorable scenes & a solid Nando De Luca score. Director Tulio Demicheli who is a lesser known figure in Italian genre cinema with films such as The Two Faces of Fear & Sabata The Killer does a terrific job here balancing a well scripted revenge story with some harsh violence & keeps it moving at a pace that'll keep you gripped throughout. 

Rating: ★★★★

"Got any change?"

Terror Express

Terror Express

Genre: Exploitation

Original title: La ragazza del vagone letto

Director: Ferdinando Baldi

Year: 1979

Three thugs commandeer a couple of cars on a moving train and spread terror among the passengers.

Terror Express is a film often overlooked by Italian film fans in the Last House On The Left style of film, which for a few years almost became a genre of its own. Aldo Lado's brilliant Late Night Trains had came four years prior to this with its setting being largely on a train, though that film only used the train as a set-up for the revenge that came after. Terror Express (minus a couple of short scenes) is based completely on the train & it manages to sustain its nasty thrills by constantly moving, never taking a second to reflect & cramming in as much sleazy nastiness that it can in its short 80 minute running time. 

It's directed by Ferdinando Baldi who mostly had success with Spaghetti Westerns such as Viva, Django, he clearly understood what type of film was making with so much attention being geared towards the sex & violence that the film contains. 

The cast is one full of many faces that Italian genre fans will recognise even if they are unfamiliar with their names. Silvia Dionisio (once married to Ruggero Deodato) plays a hooker who works on the night train. The trio of well spoken thugs that take over the train contain Austrian actor Werner Pochath (The Cat o' Nine Tails, Ratman) & Carlo De Mejo (City of the Living Dead, The House by the Cemetery). Elsewhere on the train we have Venantino Venantini (Cannibal Ferox) & Czech actress Zora Kerova (The New York Ripper, Cannibal Ferox). I spent half the film thinking 'I know you from somewhere' whilst looking at various characters faces.

The film is written by a legendary figure here on Cult Italia, George Eastman. As well as acting, Eastman was a screen-writer that gave us films of such bad taste as Porno Holocaust & Bestialità so it is no surprise that Terror Express contains many ultra-sleazy scenes. First of all you have the three villains who at first appear to be more of a nuisance rather than a threat. They arrive for dinner with their loud music & are rude & obnoxious. Though things soon spiral out of control when they end up taking a gun from a police-man who is escorting a prisoner on the overnight train. From then on the characters become sadistic in their nature, taking over the train with violence and sexual abuse. 

In one scene, after Silvia Dionisio's character has been raped 3 or 4 times the prisoner is sent in to continue the rape. He turns out to be a sympathetic character and tries to fight back but is beaten by the thugs so the raped women decides to have sex with him after. There's also a man on the train with his family who sleeps with said prostitute and makes her wear his own daughters nightgown as he has incestuous feelings about his daughter. It is that kind of movie & I guess no surprise that it came from the insane mind of George Eastman!

In the UK the film was caught up in the video nasty scare of the early 80s when the Fletcher label release was seized by a number of police forces during raids. Though most probably the film was mistaken for Late Night Trains which was on their hit-list at the time.

Late Night Trains is still the go-to film if you want a exploitation film set on a train but Terror Express isn't far behind. The inevitable revenge in the final few minutes doesn't deliver the payback that these type of films perhaps should, but that aside this is sleazy, nasty, fast paced, fun & entertaining slice of exploitation cinema which deserves to be seen by more fans of this type of cinema

Rating: ★★★½

Phantom Of Death

Phantom of Death

Genre: Giallo, Horror, Psychological Thriller

Original title: Un delitto poco comune

Director: Ruggero Deodato

Year: 1988

Police Comissioner Datti is investigating the murder of a female doctor whose murderer seems to be a thirty-fivish year old man. Soon another murder follows: Pianist Robert Dominici's girlfriend is found killed. The killer also challenges Datti on the phone and says he can't be caught since he has a secret which makes him invulnerable. In the meantime the clues seems to point in strange directions

As you can see from the plot summary, Phantom Of Death is a convoluted film with moves into different directions as it goes along. It stars Michael York (Logan's Run, Austin Powers) as Robert Dominici who's girlfriend is murdered early on. He is a suspect & for a while it feels like the classic Gialli setup of a man under suspicion who has to do the investigating himself to find out the killer. The film up this point is pretty gripping, however they make the mistake of moving into a new direction far too early as the killer is revealed and the film progresses into more of a psychological thriller.

Also starring is the queen of Gialli, Edwige Fenech. She plays a fashion designer who is having an affair with Michael York's character and becomes pregnant (even in her early 40s Edwige is still looking fantastic). Then there's Donald Pleasence who is typically (& unsurprisingly) playing the ageing inspector who's doing his best to hunt down the killer. A partner of his is killed later in the picture and he runs around the town center screaming "WHERE ARE YOU, I'LL KILL YOU BASTARD!" which was just classic Pleasence.

The killings are pretty damn gory which is no surprise considering it was directed by Ruggero Deodato who's films rarely ever shy away from the brutal nature of violence. Though make sure you get the version that was originally released in Europe as there's a TV version which removed any said bloodshed leaving the film a much tamer affair.

I think I'd of preferred Phantom Of Death to of remained a more "whodunnit" kind of giallo as the first 40 minutes are pretty gripping and felt like it could of been one of the better late entries to the genre. Once the reveal of the killer is made the film begins to have pacing issues & despite the talent involved, the film slowly fizzles out to an anti-climatic finish. A mixed overall, yet one which has just enough going for it that I'd recommend it cautiously.

Rating: ★★★

Dario Argento's World of Horror

Dario Argento's World of Horror 

Genre: Documentary

Original title: Il mondo dell'orrore di Dario Argento

Director: Michele Soavi

Year: 1985

Documentary on horror/mystery film maker Dario Argento. Features an in-depth interview with Argento and covers his work from 1969 to 1985.

Having acted on a number of Argento related pictures and worked as second assistant director on Tenebre Michele Soavi was called upon to direct this mid 80s straight to VHS documentary about the great Dario Argento. Back then in the days the vast amounts of information we now take for granted on the internet this must of been a very welcome release for fans of Dario Argento. Even to this day there are barely any feature length documentaries that cover aspects of Italian cult cinema so for that reason, I'm glad it exists.

It looks at his entire career up to that point, largely focusing on Phenomena, Tenebre & Demons.  Unfortunately though, this is a very poor documentary. Running at 71 minutes I'd confidently estimate that over 50% of its running time is used up with clips from Dario's movies, including films which he worked on but didn't direct such as Dawn Of The Dead & Demons. Dario is a director that boasts so many unforgettable scenes from each of his films, though if I wanted to see them I'd of watched the actual films instead.

There are a few short interviews with Dario where he talks about why he makes movies "I want to be loved" & the sexuality of murder, but there simply isn't enough depth on show to wet anybody's appetite for knowledge. However, the documentary does have a look into the filming of a number of pictures which is pretty interesting in places. Seeing how much effort they put in to pull off many of the bug effects on Phenomena is pretty impressive today when it'd be created so easily with CGI. There's also a look into the practical effects & animatronics of Demons though the docs highlight, a look at how they shot the wonderful tracking shot ( the one that goes from one side of the building to the other & through the window) in Tenebre, remains fascinating.  

The biggest disappointment without a doubt is the lack of depth concerning what makes Argento the man & the film-maker that he is. There are mentions of the themes he uses but they are only just scratching the surface. The film feels a waste of a good opportunity to get get to know a bit more about the man that has given us so many unique pieces of cinema. 

Nowadays this documentary has been thrown in as a DVD extra on the Anchor Bay release of Suspiria, a bonus feature I guess you can have no complaints. but judging this as a stand alone documentary that was released on VHS for full price I can't imagine many being too pleased with what they got.

Rating: ★★

The Iguana with the Tongue of Fire

The Iguana with the Tongue of Fire 

Genre: Giallo

Original title: L' iguana dalla lingua di fuoco

Director: Riccardo Freda

Year: 1971

In Dublin, a young woman is brutally murdered in her home by a maniac that throws acid in her face and then slits her throat with a razor. Her mangled body is later discovered in the boot of a limousine owned by the Swiss Ambassador

A giallo, set in Dublin? An interesting concept & I do enjoy seeing different cities from back in the day unfortunately the following piece of information tells you all you need to know about this picture.

"When the German Co-Producer Artur Brauner saw the finished film, he decided to skip a theatrical release in Germany, just due to the quality of the film which he wasn't satisfied with." 

This sums the entire film up in a nutshell. 

Director Riccardo Freda, who had made a couple of semi-successful gothic horrors in the late 50s to early 60s (The Horrible Dr. Hichcock, The Vampires) really failed to ignite any kind of spark with The Iguana with the Tongue of Fire, its poorly put together with shoddy editing, a terrible script & remains completely uninteresting throughout. 

In its defense I did see a pretty shoddy print of the film which was terribly dubbed but I can't imagine a pristine copy of this film being able to prevent pure boredom.

There were a few positives, the Stelvio Cipriani score was pretty solid & the amount of gore was surprisingly high (even for a giallo) but then you could argue that it was only inserted to try and cover up the fact the film has zero suspense. Then there was enough talent in the cast from Dagmar Lassander to Werner Pochath & Luigi Pistilli (playing an Irishman!) that it perhaps should of been a decent film but everything is so poorly executed that all their performances feel redundant. 

It's not very often I really struggle to finish a film, even the bad ones I usually find some sort of enjoyment value from but this is a case where the film drags on for what feels like an eternity & you ask yourself afterwards why you even bothered to finish it. 

Rating: ★½

Paddy Pistilli

Ironmaster

Ironmaster

Genre:  Action, Adventure  

Original title: La Guerra del Ferro

Director: Umberto Lenzi

Year: 1983

A tale that takes place at the dawn of history. The movie tells the story of a tribe that discovers how to fashion weapons out of iron and use them for their own survival. However, the creation of iron also causes the tribe to battle for possession of the new weapons.

With Conan The Barbarian being such a smash in 1982 it was no surprise that the Italians would want a piece of the action & make their own action adventure picture, of course on a much smaller budget. Ironmaster is a noble attempt at the genre but unfortunately, a very forgettable one. 

Director Umberto Lenzi (who must of had a go at every popular genre back in the day) doesn't really bring much to the table here, I often find his work very hit or miss & unfortunately this is one of the misses. The special effects are decent enough for this kind of picture. Sure monkey men in suits and lightning effects that appear to of been drawn on don't do the film any favours but for the most part the majority of ideas pass as at least serviceable. 

Sam Pasco stars as our macho hero here in his only acting credit. Well I say only acting credit, he also had a career as a bodybuilder & a a gay porn-star under the name of Big Max! Physically he is an impressive specimen but charisma-wise, leaves a lot to be desired & is unfortunately a million miles away from being Arnold Schwarzenegger, epecially with his emotionless acting and horrible delivery of dialogue. 

Sam Pasco, AKA "Big Max".

However, fear not! The big selling point for this film (you could argue it's the only selling point) is we have George Eastman playing the evil character of Vood who will kill everybody in his way to rule the land! 

Eastman is an actor that always gives his all in every film he appears in however bad a picture it is or however ridiculous his character may be you can always be sure to get Eastman bringing his A-game. As always he delivers the character of Vood with so much charisma that he really helps bring this otherwise dull film to life each time he appears on screen. His performance sees him kill off the leader of his tribe, escape from the angry tribe, witness a volcano erupt & accidentally create an iron weapon, thus essentially becoming the father of the Iron Age! Not done there we have Eastman vs boars, lions & men in ape costumes. All this backed up with classic dialogue such as "When warriors stop showing their power, it is the beginning of the end'. It is a classic Eastman performance even if the film is pretty much trash. 

If you dig George Eastman i'd say it's well worth a watch for him alone, if not, stay well clear as there is barely anything else to warrant its existence. 

Rating: ★★

George Eastman, creator of the Iron Age.

The Italian Connection

The Italian Connection 

Genre: Poliziottesco, Crime

Original title: La mala ordina

AKA: Hired to Kill / Manhunt / Black Kingpin

Director: Fernando Di Leo

Year: 1972

When a shipment of heroin disappears between Italy and New York, a small-time pimp in Milan is framed for the theft. Two professional hitmen are dispatched from New York to find him, but the real thieves want to get rid of him before the New York killers get to him to eliminate any chance of them finding out he's the wrong man.

The Italian Connection is the second part of Fernando Di Leo's "Milieu Trilogy", it's another fantastic crime thriller that is fast paced with violence that is harsh, bordering on brutal & there's plenty of unforgettable moments throughout.

The cast reads like a who's who of Italian cinema. You have the films star, Mario Adorf who plays the pimp framed for the theft of a shipment of heroin. He's hunted down by two professional hit-men played by none other than Woody Strode & the legendary Henry Silva, a pairing which Tarantino without a doubt took inspiration from for the characters of Jules & Vincent in Pulp Fiction. The supporting cast is also incredibly strong with Adolfo Celi, Luciana Paluzzi, Peter Berling, Femi Benussi & Giuseppe Castellano to name just a few!

Despite being a loose trilogy where neither film continues on or shares the same characters it was still surprising to see Adorf play our protagonist after playing such a bastard in Milano calibro 9, though of course he is still no saint! I was expecting the American duo of Silva & Strode to be the "heroes" of the picture so it refreshing to see the film not make obvious choices with its cast. The films sense of moral ambiguity really is one of its great strong points. 

There films highlight without a shadow of a doubt happens when key characters are murdered (no spoilers on Cult Italia!) & Adorf gets involved in a chase with the murderer in an absolutely outrageous chase/action sequence which goes on for what must be near ten minutes! Now first of all, Mario Adorf is a pretty hefty guy that definitely packs a couple of extra pounds. So to see him chase this guy by foot, by car, through a theme park & then into a brutal fight to the death must of taken a lot out of the guy. To any fans of Family Guy I'd compare it to when Peter fights the chicken & it goes on & on & on, getting more violent and more outlandish as it progresses. Well imagine that but with real actors! Some of the stunts are insane with Adorf hanging onto a van for dear life and head-butting his way through the window-screen. His anger in this film is like nothing I've ever seen before & is fightingly realistic. There was no CGI in those days, I don't know if a professional stunt-man was used in any of those scenes but either way some crazy son of a bitch really did put his body on the line for this picture & god bless him for doing so.

Henry Silva is always such a joy to watch, each time he appears the film springs to life that little bit more. In some ways it is a shame that the film wasn't more about he and Strode's characters as I'd liked them to both receive more screen-time. Having said that, one of the films real strengths is how it balances the plot & characters keeping everything so tight, a lot goes down in its 90'odd minute running time but it always remains easy to follow & each characters actions are clear to the viewer. 

The Italian Connection remains one of the absolute essential releases not only of the Poliziottesco genre, but of cult Italian cinema in general. It is a film where pretty much everything is in place from the great direction of  Fernando Di Leo, to the superb cast to the funky soundtrack from Armando Trovajoli. Its grittiness, shocks & thrills entertains throughout delivering an unforgettable piece of cult cinema. Simply put, one of the greats.

Rating: ★★★★½

Henry Silva & his wonderful dressing gown. 

Killer Crocodile

Killer Crocodile

Genre: Horror, Giant Monster, Adventure

Original title: Killer crocodile - Coccodrillo assassino

Director: Fabrizio De Angelis

Year: 1989

A group of environmentalists arrives at a faraway tropical delta where toxic waste is being dumped. However the water also hides a giant crocodile. The corrupt local officials don't help much either.

This creature-feature is directed by Fabrizio De Angelis who's best known for being producer on some of Lucio Fulci's most famous films such as Zombie, The Boyond & The New York Ripper. Under the pseudonym of Larry Ludman he'd direct a string of mostly forgotten about genre films around the mid 80s such as Karate Warrior & Thunder. 

So here we have another Jaws style cash-in done with little money & little talent. yet Killer Crocodile still manages to generate a certain amount of charm to make things worthwhile. The acting & editing are pretty terrible at the best of times but the Crocodile effects are actually pretty damn solid. They do make the big mistake of revealing too much of their giant prop by not cutting away fast enough which gives away any faults, but for a picture like this it was actually impressive.

The plot, whilst predictable moves along at a decent pace & remains semi entertaining. The cast lack personality and mostly just act as fodder for our big croc with exception of Ennio Girolami who plays this complete badass who lives near the swamp so understands the terrain & most importantly, looks like Lee Van Cleef! The environmentalists seek help & turn to him so Girolami casually jumps off his boat & lands on top of the Croc and begins to attack the beast, it's hilarious in its outrageousness & easily the best scene in the entire picture.  Sadly Girolami passed away earlier this year.  Ennio made a number of appearances in cult Italian films from Light Blast, to Tenebre & also was in all three films of the Bronx Warriors trilogy which were directed by his younger brother Enzo G. Castellari.  

You know what you are getting yourself into with these type of pictures, most of them are pretty atrocious & whilst this picture suffers from some terrible writing, bad acting & a complete lack of originality it remains mildly entertaining throughout & lovers of creature-features will no doubt get their kicks out of it.

Rating: ★★½

Ennio Girolami 1935-2013. R.I.P

Knife Of Ice

Knife Of Ice

Genre: Giallo

Original title: Il coltello di ghiaccio

Director: Umberto Lenzi

Year: 1972

Martha Caldwell is a mute traumatized by her parents death in a railway accident. Whilst staying at her uncles home somebody begins killing people she knows off one by one.

This really is an unmemorable Giallo in almost every way. Director Umberto Lenzi who usually delivers nasty, gruesome & sleazy flicks plays this one surprisingly tame from start to finish. Any kills are pretty much shown off camera which wouldn't be a problem if the story was captivating & engaging, but it's far from that. It's the sort of film which may of got a pass from me had it made up for its shortcomings in its predictable plot by piling on the violence & nudity but it remains frustratingly uneventful throughout. 

It stars Carroll Baker who has appeared in hugely successful pictures such as How The West Was Won & Kindergarten Cop though she also appeared in a handful of Gialli such as Orgasmo & A Quiet Place To Kill so is not stranger to the genre. She spends most the film struggling to communicate with people as the murders are happening. It is a serviceable performance, though she benefits from having her character be a mute so she doesn't have to work with the horrible dialogue that the rest of the cast were doomed to deliver. 

I did enjoy the use of weather throughout. There are some nice scenes of fog & thunderstorms that create the little atmosphere that the picture generates but with its sluggish pace nothing in this picture ever feels like it really gets going. 

One of Lenzi's poorer attempts & one that is so forgettable that an hour into the film I began to realise that I'd seen the film only two years previously.

Rating: ★★

It can't be much fun talking to Carroll Baker on the phone

The Last Shark

The Last Shark

Genre: Horror, Natural Horror, Giant Monster

Original title: L' ultimo squalo

AKA: Great White / The Last Jaws

Director: Enzo G. Castellari

Year: 1982

An enormous and angry 35 foot Great White Shark takes revenge on humans when they build a beach just for swimmers by a coastal town.

Of all the films the Italian's decided to rip-off, The Last Shark is probably the most notorious case. Shortly before the film's release, Universal Pictures filed suit against the producers, claiming the film was too similar to Jaws, and the Australian distributors, for breach of copyright regarding Peter Benchley's book "Jaws". Universal won an injunction, and the film was pulled from theaters. 

The film would eventually be released on VHS world-wide with various titles that would confuse people into believing that the picture was actually a Jaws sequel. Because of this, over the years people not accustomed to Italian films of this era have regarded it as one of the worst films ever made. This is unfair. Whilst The Last Shark is nothing special, it is for the most part a competent film. The practical effects of the shark are surprisingly decent & very rarely look less than serviceable. The surprising downfall is the dull characters that just act as a support for the shark. Director Enzo G. Castellari who tends to always have fun characters in his movies (surprisingly) fails to deliver this time round with a cast of completely unmemorable characters. 

The Natural-Horror/creature-feature genre is one which when done right can be highly enjoyable. The monster part was handled pretty well, unfortunately the lack of decent characters really drags the film down a good few notches. That said, there is still fun to be had with The Last Shark & as far these type of films go its far from being a disaster. It's certainly better than some of the official Jaws sequels that were churned out in the 80s.

Rating: ★★½

As you can see, it's nothing like jaws!

Live Like a Cop, Die Like a Man

Live Like a Cop, Die Like a Man

Genre: Poliziottesco, Crime

Original title: Uomini si nasce poliziotti si muore

Director: Ruggero Deodato

Year: 1976

Fred and Tony are members of an elite 'special squad' of police in Rome, Italy whom are licensed-to-kill, undercover cops whom thrive on living dangerously.

Live Like A Cop, Die Like A Man took me all of about 30 seconds to win me over. It starts with with two guys on a motorbike brutally killing a women whilst trying to steal her bag. Our anti-heroes with the blandest names ever (Fred & Tony) played by Marc Porel & Ray Lovelock are part of Rome's Special Squad and begin to chase the thieves on motorbikes. This turns into a 10 minute chase sequence through the streets of Rome. It's a thrilling beginning that sees some high risk stunts with cafés being destroyed, cars being used as ramps & a brutal, yet somehow hilarious murder of a guide-dog. With this kind of action from the get-go it wasn't hard for me to fall in love with this film.

The characters of Fred & Tony are pretty much as anti-hero as you can get. They have no problem whatsoever killing criminals (often before they've commuted a crime), using torture, stealing & abusing women to get what they want. It's like a complete bastardised version of Riggs and Murtaugh! Despite this, the pair are highly entertaining & their general attitude of doing anything they damn well please to get the job done provides many a thrill during its lean 90 minute running time. 

Director Ruggero Deodato shows off a degree of the brutal violence, sleaze & general grittiness that he'd show in later pictures such as The House on the Edge of the Park & Cannibal Holocaust. though here it does occasionally come off a tiny bit cartoonish in its outrageousness. Also the film benefits from the brilliant screenplay from the director of the Milieu Trilogy, Fernando Di Leo, whom is arguably the genre's most famous filmmaker. You also get a decent score from Ubaldo Continello, though the use of a couple of Ray Lovelock's Bob Dylan-esque folk numbers feel completely out of place. Perhaps he agreed to do the film if they'd use his music but either way its a very unwelcome distraction. 

Also in the cast is Bruno Corazzari (a character actor who seems to always play shady character's in Italian genre films), Adolfo Celi (as the boss of the Special Squad) & Marino Masé 

Overall its a tight, explosive & thrilling piece of Italian crime-cinema with plenty of memorable scenes, harsh violence & contains possibly the two "badest" cops that you'll ever see on screen.

Rating: ★★★★

Fred & Tony, make Dirty Harry look like a pussy.

The Mad Butcher

The Mad Butcher

Genre: Horror, Black Comedy, Exploitation

Original title: Lo strangolatore di Vienna

AKA: The Strangler of Vienna 

Director: Guido Zurli

Year: 1971

 After being released from a mental hospital, Otto returns to his old job as a butcher. He tries to adjust to his new life, but after a bitter argument with his wife, he accidentally kills her. Fearing he will be sent back to the hospital, he grinds up her body and sells it as sausages. As friends and relatives start asking questions about her disappearance, they too start ending up in the butcher's display case

This Italian & German co-production is a goofy B style exploitation movie which reminded me of a sleazier version of something like Little Shop Of Horrors, with a similar plot to that of Psycho II. It played out as a dark comedy, though the use of the kind of comedic music you'd find in a circus show really didn't work with the films tone. Personally, I'd of liked a much meaner & exploitive picture along the lines of say, William Lustig's Maniac than the campy romp we get here. 

The Mad Butcher stars Victor Buono, a character actor that had appeared in successful films such as What Ever Happened to Baby Jane & Beneath the Planet of the Apes & is pretty well cast to play this kind of goofy larger than life character. To his credit, the little entertainment that the film delivers almost always comes via his performance. Also outside of his acting career he was a highly regarded gourmet chef so was definitely qualified to to play the mad butcher! 

Given the horse meat scandal in the UK right now the subject matter was pretty damn appropriate, the film however remains too dull & repetitive in places with the comedy rarely hitting the sweet spot & editing that leaves a lot to be desired. A decent idea, poorly executed. 

Rating: ★★

Victor Buono preparing tonight's meal 

Man Without a Memory

Man Without A Memory

Genre: Giallo, Mystery

Original title: L' uomo senza memoria

AKA: Puzzle

Director: Duccio Tessari

Year: 1974

A man can't remember who he is and now thugs are after him for something he hid... and he doesn't know where it is, let alone what it is

Luc Merenda who is known mostly by Gialli fans for his role in Sergio Martino's Torso plays a man named Edward who has lost his memory in a near fatal car crash in London. He is linked back to his wife who lives by the coast in Italy by some bizarre circumstances. Other characters come into the picture and claim to know Edward but we can never be sure if what we are hearing is the truth. 

There are only six main characters in this film yet they are all well written & integral parts to this picture. Legendary Italian character actor Bruno Corazzari (who appeared in so many Italian productions in the 60s & 70s) plays a real menace & then there's Anita Strindberg who whilst isn't on screen a great deal plays a big part in moving this picture forward. Elsewhere there's a straight talking child actor who is pretty hilarious with his responses at times, a rarity for Gialli as quite often child actors can be incredibly annoying.

Man Without A Memory (more commonly known as Puzzle in most parts of the world) has Gialli elements but those who like their Gialli to have plenty of violence, blood & flesh may be disappointed. This picture decides to take it's time seeing out a well written script with some fleshed out characters. It's a slow burner, yet is always engaging & builds up nicely to a really explosive final few minutes with its thrills & reveals. An overlooked gem which is almost Hitchcockian in it's delivery.

Rating: 

★★★★

The Italian Chainsaw Massacre

Barbarella

Barbarella

Genre: Science Fiction, Space Opera, Sex Comedy, Adventure

Director: Roger Vadim

Year: 1968

In the far future, a highly sexual woman is tasked with finding and stopping the evil Durand-Durand. Along the way she encounters various unusual people.

Who seduces an angel? Who strips in space? Who conveys love by hand? Who gives up the pill? Who takes sex to outer space? Who's the girl of the 21st century? Who nearly dies of pleasure? Barbarella, that's who!

This French/Italian production sees one of America's great actresses Jane Fonda play a secret agent in this campy blend of science fiction, adventure & tongue in cheek comedy. The film begins with a wonderful baroque style title sequence with Barbarella floating around, as she removes her clothes any potential nudity is covered up by the on-screen credits. This backed with a Tom Jones-esque theme tune set the tone perfectly for the picture you are about to see. 

The film is a colourful experience, with really impressive large sets created at the Dino De Laurentiis Cinematografica Studios in Rome. They have an almost cartoonish vibe, very similar to those also recorded at the studio that same year for Mario Bava's Danger: Diabolik. In-fact, both films are very similar with their aesthetic & comic-book feel, though the humour in Barbarella is much more obvious in its delivery.

Both films must of been a huge influence on Mike Hodges's Flash Gordon which would be made some 12 years later & also the Austin Powers series owes a lot to the tone, look & unpredictability of Barbarella.

As the film progresses Barbarella gets herself into all kinds of trouble as she meets a series of unusual characters, it's like Clash Of The Titans... in space! In one scene she's abducted by children, tied up and attacked by some really freakish looking dolls with sharp teeth which wouldn't look out of place in a horror movie. Throughout the picture the characters remain hammy and incredibly camp keeping the flick light hearted & fun. It's a film where the entire cast completely understood the material & the tone that picture was striving for & with the entire film hanging on the character of Barbarella you have to give an enormous amount of credit to Jane Fonda for making it all look so effortless.

The second half of the picture becomes slightly more action orientated & whilst the knowing nod towards humour is always present the films running time of an hour and forty five begins to grate a little. I'd compare it to eating your favourite junk food, its always great for a while but eventually it'll become tiresome if you eat too much of it so it really is a "too much of a good thing" scenario with this picture. Fifteen minutes shredded from its running time would of really of helped this film hit the sweet spot for me.

Despite these faults, Barbarella remains an iconic piece of cinema. With its outrageous costumes (Fonda has a costume change approximately every five minutes), outlandish set designs, over the top performances & groovy soundtrack it remains a charming piece of cinema, which whilst it may not be the most stimulating film mentally, visually it'll knock you out.

Rating: ★★★

Jane Fonda, makes love in her own unique way.

Women in Fury

Women In Fury

Genre: Exploitation, Women in Prison

Original title: Femmine in fuga

AKA: Jailbreakin' Women

Director: Michele Massimo Tarantini

Year: 1985

Covering for her brother, who killed a Brazilian drug lord, Angela Duvall is sent to a women's prison. Trapped behind bars, Angela's beauty excites the passions in her fellow prisoners and the guards alike. Unfortunately, she also catches the eye of a group of inmates who work for the man her brother murdered.

Soon after filming the entertaining Cannibal Adventure picture Massacre in Dinosaur Valley director Michele Massimo Tarantini was off to Brazil to shoot this trashy Women In Prison flick, Women In Fury. He also took with him a handful of the cast from his previous picture including Brazilian beauty Suzane Carvalho.

Carvalho plays our lead girl named Angela who has covered for her brothers murder thinking she would only receive a lenient jail sentence, a big mistake, she gets 18 years & prison is no place for a good looking girl. 

This is Carvalho's final acting credit as she took the surprising career path of becoming a race-car driver! She would go on to be a champion in South America in Formula 3.

Shot on location in Brazil the film plays out for the first half as your typical Woman In Prison B-movie flick with the usual traits including sexual discrimination, beatings, gratuitous nudity & of course, lesbianism. Despite these strong themes the film never feels too sleazy or mean spirited as it's shot more for entertainment rather than shock or titillation. You get plenty of big characters that are all overacting to grab screen-time including a Pam Grier lookalike & a character I'll refer to as 'Big Momma', I think you get the picture! Here our innocent jail-bird is subjected to several types of abuse, she's hosed down (as an excuse to shot wet breasts!), whipped with wet towels & sexually abused (as an excuse to shot wet breasts) & forced into a lesbian scene with a prison guard. After 45 minutes of this I was becoming tired of the setting so thankfully the film moved into a new direction.

That's one women I wouldn't want to share a cell with.

After a Dr suspects that Angela may be innocent he puts pressure on the prison guards to do something about it, they don't take nicely to his interference & decide to have her killed off by giving another inmate a knife. When its time to attack 'Big Momma' steps in and decapitates the women! It really caught me out by surprise as I never expected it to go that far. This leads to the prisoners rioting & attacking the guards, they acquire their guns and attempt to escape. This follows with a shoot-out againt the army but eventually a handful (including Angela) break free and make a run for it in the Brazilian jungle. The girls struggle with the terrain & fight amongst themselves as the army close in on the girls.

It was a much welcomed change of scenery & nice idea to get the film out of the prison, it gave the filmmakers an excuse to have some more action orientated scenes with snakes, shoot-outs & also helped to stop the film becoming tiresome.

Women In Prison flicks usually aren't my cup of tea at all. The limited setting of the prison usually prevents there being much in the way of action & usually are just an excuse to show trashy sexual orientated stuff without much in the way of substance so it was nice to see one that took the action out of the prison to give the film a little variation. 

Having said that, the action scenes are poorly shot and lack the excitement which perhaps they should of had. Also, with it's hour and forty minute running time it could of done with 10-15 minutes trimmed off to keep it a much tighter picture. Still Women In Fury is a mildly entertaining flick, if you love yourself a WIP movie then I'd imagine you'd be satisfied with  this. Though for me it's the kind of flick I'll find an easy watch & be kind of enjoying at the time but will have forgotten about by the next day.

Rating: ★★½

I think you can figure out where that stick is going to end up.