The Sweet House Of Horrors

The Sweet House of Horrors

Original Title: La dolce casa degli orrori

Genre: Supernatural Horror

Director: Lucio Fulci

Year: 1989

A murdered couple return from the beyond to care for their two young children, as well as seek revenge against their killer, accept their children's step parents, and try to prevent their house from being sold.

I am not the worlds biggest Lucio Fulci fan at the best of times, so the prospect of a made for T.V film made near the end of his career didn't fill me with much hope. I should of trusted my own instincts as The Sweet House Of Horrors is absolutely atrocious. 

It starts off with a pretty brutal murder of two parents with poor special effects to boot, eyeballs are stabbed & blood pours out. This scene is backed up by a score which I can only describe as the sort you'd find on a Sega Mega Drive shoot 'em up. Tonally this is completely different to the rest of the film which plays out as a supernatural affair seen through the eyes of children. After this the shit really hits the fan. We are introduced to the now parentless children who in typical Italian style are fucking useless. To make matters worse, they are dubbed by adults which make them even more annoying. Every time someone tries to get in the way something will happen such as a step moving or some weird lights, that about as exciting as things get, the rest of the cast are pretty much as shoddy as the child actors too. Having a supernatural horror where the supernatural element is to protect children produces zero tension as there is never any real threat on screen.

To it's credit, it is pretty lean with its 80 minute running time & despite being terrible in almost every way, it doesn't seem to drag too much. That though, is about the only positive I can think of to describe this godawful Fulci flick.

Rating: ★

Like Charmed, but worse.